Today has been long and hard to say the least.

It wasn't long and hard due to strenuous activity or anything like that, it was hard due to the fact that I don't feel like God is answering my prayers. I realize God hears all prayers and He answers them, but today it has been hard to keep telling myself that. I had a dream about Germany last night and it was freaky. I had a dream it was time for me to go and I hadn't gotten my cell phone to take over there (I have to get a special one, when-if, I go, because U.S. Cellular doesn't have international plans.) and I was worried about not being able to talk to my parents. Then some strange man locked my brother and I in a room in his house. It was weird.

I'm so worried that God isn't going to let me sell my lease and this is something I need to happen desperately. I know it'll probably happen, and it'll probably happen right before I get ready to leave for Germany, but I am so stressed out about it.

I was talking to someone earlier today about selling my lease and he told me "don't count on it." Those words crushed me. I have to count on it. It sucked (sorry mom) hearing that. It's weird, I feel supported by some of my friends but there are some other people I don't exactly feel supported by and it sucks! (sorry again mom.) I should feel very supported by these people and it feels like they don't want me to go, which to me, makes it even harder to know if God actually wants me to do this or not.

As of right now, I just really need your prayers. I'm praying too, but I need loads of prayer.

In Him,


  1. praying for you.
    either way (if you go to Germany or not)
    God always answers your prayers.

  2. I'm praying for you, lovely! You will be okay either way!

  3. Praying for you girl. But also know that if God doesn't have it planned for you to sell your lease and go to Germany, he has a bigger plan for you. Sometimes our prayers are not answered the way we want them to, but thats because God has a better plan that is meant for us. When things don't go the way WE plan them to it can hurt, make us sad and leave us wondering why, but GOD is in control not us and he alone knows what is better for us. We just have to take a deep breath and give him the steering wheel.