Okay, so for those of you who really know me, know that I am completely 100% boy crazy. If you know me even better, you know that I hate that about myself.
For years, I have wanted a boyfriend so badly and probably would have done almost anything to get one. (Sad, I know). I mean, I'm 20 years old and I have never had a boyfriend and I've never been kissed. (Yeah, you read that right.) I used to be soo ashamed of this, because I felt like I was inexperienced and undesirable.
But, I recently had a talk with a very good friend. She is the person I run to when I'm needing deep "Jesus" advice while away at college. Alicia, is also my roommate. One night (last week), we were kind of on the topic of relationships and dating. I kept going on and on about how bad I wanted a boyfriend and how stupid I felt because I'd never been kissed. She went on to say, "Cherish, I may have already told you this before, but I feel like you should hear it again. I heard it in a sermon one time. If your running as hard and as fast as you can toward God and you look beside you and you see someone else running just as fast and just as hard, that's when you know who you're supposed to be with." I had heard these words before from her, but I'd never given much thought to it. I heard them differently this time. She also went on to say this to me: "Cherish, would you rather have dated and kissed and done who knows what with several guys and be regretting it today or would you rather be where you are now?" (I have heard these words from several other people including my mom, but it didn't sink in until then.) Those words couldn't have been said any better. She was definitely right. If I would of been the first person she said (& I'm not judging anyone who was or is, remember I once envied you), I would totally regret it! I would be so disappointed in myself and I would be disgusted.But instead, I'm almost as pure as they come. I'm not trying to brag on myself either. But, I can now happily say that I am proud of myself. Yes, there have been numerous chances for me to have a "boyfriend" or "be kissed", but there are reasons those things didn't happen. God has had this in his plans for me all along.
So, now that I am setting here thinking about how happy I am now, how happy I am to be SINGLE (refer to title), how happy I am that I don't have to deal with boy drama and worrying about making my boyfriend happy and having time for him, I am so glad that God's plan for me was this. I never thought I would say it, but even though I am single right now, I am so content with God and so pleased with Him. Here lately, he's been doing amazing things in my heart. AMAZING THINGS. I'm not sure if you have heard the song "Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real or not but there is a line in that song that just describes my life right now. Every time I hear this song, I melt. It's so beautiful. It says: "Whatever You're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace." God is doing amazing things in my life right now, and I don't a need a boy to come along and mess up that relationship that I'm strengthening with God. I AM CONTENT WITH GOD, I don't need another man (boyfriend) in my life. One of my prayers that I have been praying lately was basically asking God to let me be content with Him and not care about guys or wanting a boyfriend. I've been praying that for about a week and God's already answered it. I'm not saying that from time to time, I'm not going to be like: "Oh, he's cute.", because that is perfectly normal, I think. But earlier I just sitting in my bed thinking about guys and boyfriends in general, and to be honest, I was disgusted. If there were to be some boy to ask me right now to be "his girlfriend", I honestly think I would say "no." I DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND and I am soooo happy to say that!
I felt like this verse was appropriate:
"I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in it's mother's arms, my soul is a baby content." - Psalm 131:2 (The Message)
Sorry this blog was a tad long, hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to leave comments and show it to your friends.