"What If's"

So, you know that game called "what if?" Okay, so its not really not a legitimate game. It's more of a game we play with ourselves. It's a one person game, if you will.

Well, I was talking to my dear roommate, Amanda (check out her blog), tonight about something that has been on my heart for the last week or so. I have no idea why its been on my heart this week or why its been so heavy on my heart - it just has. Now, I don't necessarily dislike that it's on my heart. I am somewhat grateful. And I'm not going to tell you readers what it's about - because if I did it could be something that would come back and bite me in the butt later and I would hate if it did. As I was telling her about it, she mentioned the "what if" game and I'm not going to lie - I sort of got emotional. This "thing" that has been put on my heart is not something I want to look back on later in life and be like "Why didn't I pursue that?" or "What if I would have pursued that?", "How would my life be different?" I want to test it and I want to see how it turns out. I don't understand why I got so emotional. The thought of 'losing' this "object" scares the crap out of me and in a way - I have already somewhat lost it - but as we speak/read I am trying to gain it back.

I really just need to pray about it.

What do you play the "what-if" game with?


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