Random, but Sincere Thoughts

My mind has been overwhelmed with many different thoughts within the last week and I've wanted to blog to let it all out there....but I couldn't find the words until now. I've wanted to talk about forgiveness, being broken, being strong in the faith, the evil one and so much more.

Tonight, I was supposed to go to church with a friend. We had plans on meeting at 6:50 in the church parking lot and going together and getting dinner after. About 10 minutes before, all our plans changed. She got held up at work and wasn't feeling well. Not her fault, but unfortunately life happens sometimes. So, this left me at a cross-road. Do I go without her (into a church I've never been in) or do I go home? Because I am weak, I went home. You see, if I would have been in Ryan and going to my home church alone it wouldn't be a big deal - I know everyone there and it doesn't faze me. But because I'm such an introvert and my anxiety levels shot through the roof when I thought about going in alone, I chose the cowardly way. Needless to say, I am so very frustrated with myself. I know my mom would be the first to argue that I wasn't going alone - I had Jesus by my side and I completely agree with her. However, it's still scary.

Which brings me to my next point - am I really that broken that I can't fully rely on God to be by my side and not rely on others to make it easier? That scares me. I want my God to be my all in all. Don't get my wrong - He is. But I don't want to have to worry about going alone. I should be stronger in my faith than that.

Should I not be remembering, Philippians 4:13? Not that going to church is hard at all - but going alone I should keep in mind Philippians 4:13.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  -- 2 Cor. 12:9-10
We are made strong by God's power. His power is made perfect in our weakness.
What do you think? Comments? Questions?
Keep the Faith,

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